Tuesday, November 30, 2004

There is a new advertisement in the bus shelter on the Queen and Leslie corner. It is a poster for the Salvation Army, put up to encourage charity for the upcoming holidays (as far as the ordinary citizen would presume -- but read on!). At the bottom of the ad was this contact number.

That's right.

This organization, which claims to exist primarily to "share the love of Jesus Christ, meet human needs and be a transforming influence in the communities of our world", is in fact a poorly veiled military recruitment function, intending to trick unwitting golden-hearted citizens of Toronto into servitude under Saladin, the nefarious and ridiculously well-toned enemy of Alyred.

Led by Saladin's longtime friend, confidant, and rumoured lover, Rex the Warsquid, these hapless souls would no doubt be then forced into mortal combat against an ocean of foes hostile towards their new master's dream of universal domination, as well as into the performance of other lesser but no less diabolical machinations designed to further his unholy glory.

Salvation, hah!

posted at 11:48:30 pm

December 1, 2004   09:54 PM PST
I just like using the word "nefarious" whenever possible, regardless of accuracy.
December 1, 2004   04:55 PM PST
Just be thankful it's only your values he's sharing
December 1, 2004   04:33 PM PST
I've been on to Salad for a while.
December 1, 2004   04:32 PM PST
Wait a minute... who is "nefarious" here? How am I supposed to have an arch-nemesis who shares my core values?
December 1, 2004   11:06 AM PST
Curses! Foiled again! I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for Encyclopedia Gloria and the rest of you meddling kids!

Incidentally, though, I don't date outside my species... let alone creatures with beaks. Rexy's pretty sexy, alright (rhymes mean truth), but he's not really my type. Non-human, male... you know.

December 1, 2004   02:51 AM PST
This news scares me not, I have legions of my own.

Leave a Comment:


Homepage (optional)


Previous Entry | Next Entry

<< November 2004 >>
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 01 02 03 04 05 06
07 08 09 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30

Glo'ri'a'na, noun:
1. An alternative form of "Gloria."
2. As "Americana" defines itself as artefacts of American culture, "Gloriana" consists of the artefacts of my culture.


home | contact | profile

art    blogging    body    childhood    consumerism    dream    durr    family    fashion    film    history    humour    internet    language    lit    nerd    people    poetry    rant    romance    school    sex    social relations    toronto    ttc    work   

If you want to be updated on this weblog Enter your email here: