Tuesday, August 28, 2007

My dad used to keep his wallet in the back pocket of his pants. We all told him this was a retarded idea, but he insisted the wallet was so big, stuffed with about a month's worth of gas and grocery receipts, that his ass would know if it was gone. This delusion is one of his many quintessentially daddish quirks, along with his penchant for polo shirts and dorkily clipping his cellphone to his belt.

When I couldn't close my wallet this morning, I thought of him, and also wondered: What the fuck do I keep in my wallet?

Upon examination:

Metropass for August
Metropass for September
VISA card with reward points
Rewardless VISA card which I now ignore and should really cancel
PC Financial debit card (no banking fees; for everyday use) 
CIBC debit card (investments)
Shiny new Toronto Public Library card whose number I've yet to memorize (I've lost literally ten of these)
University of Toronto student ID
Ontario driver's license, G2 class (haven't driven in over a year)
Ontario health card
SIN card
Canadian Union Benefit Trust health insurance card
Cineplex Theatres gift card ($13.05 remaining)
ESPRIT gift card ($10)
Urban Planet discount card (it's not skanky!)
Student Price Card (current)
Student Price Card (expired)
International Student Identity Card (for travel discounts)
Toronto Symphony Orchestra student discount card (I know)
Business card of my driving instructor at V's Driving School Ltd. (my dad's friend, whom we call Uncle Duck; really)
La Senza Bra Club card (the hell?)
Lucky Jeans card with styles and sizes of jeans I liked but sadly couldn't afford, written down neatly for me by a sweetly helpful salesclerk named Moiz (rhymes with "noise")
A wad of credit card receipts (our culprit!)
A TTC transfer for Friday August 24

Hmm. Like father, like daughter, I guess.

posted at 9:03:11 am

August 30, 2007   08:52 AM PDT
Naturally I do. Are you making more films?

(God, I hope you made a film.)
August 30, 2007   02:32 AM PDT
Hi there gloria... still remember me?
August 29, 2007   04:25 PM PDT
Let's see...

My wallet :

National ID card
Son picture
Metro pass
Work pass
Credit card
Blood group card
Paris map
A nail file
A tiny swiss army knife
Three unused condoms
50 euros in bank notes (never more)
5 euros in coins (never less)

Hmm... I guess I'd only really need the first 6 items.

Good luck with your sorting, Gloria.
August 28, 2007   01:57 PM PDT
SIN> Social Insurance Number.
August 28, 2007   01:13 PM PDT
Recently, I cleaned out my wallet but now find myself stuffing crap back in it because I've stretched it out so much that what little I decided to keep falls out if I turn it the wrong way.
August 28, 2007   01:05 PM PDT
Almost makes me want to list the contents ot my wallet.
SIN card eh? ^_-
August 28, 2007   12:57 PM PDT
According to the back of the card, my last purchase there was in June 2006. I'm still seven bras away from a free purchase.
J f Z
August 28, 2007   12:54 PM PDT
"if there were such a thing as a girl card, mine would have been revoked long ago." -- Gloria

La Senza Bra Club card? Better check the expiration date. Heh.

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Glo'ri'a'na, noun:
1. An alternative form of "Gloria."
2. As "Americana" defines itself as artefacts of American culture, "Gloriana" consists of the artefacts of my culture.


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